5 Ways To Motivate Your Man
A lot of women in relationships have an agenda of changing a man. Maybe they want to change the way he dresses, the way he behaves in the relationship, or how he matures as a man. Ladies, here’s a public announcement: you CAN’T change a man. Stop trying. However, there’s hope. You may not be able to change him, but you CAN motivate him to make a change. Read how you can spark his mind and your relationship.
Boost his confidence
Cardinal rule to motivating a man: don’t annihilate his confidence or manhood. If you think that nagging or complaining that he’s good-for-nothing and shiftless will be the magic words that help him get off the couch, you’ve in fact made matters worse. The next time your man is feeling discouraged or he’s not coming correct with something, try these options:
- Rub his back and tell him everything’s gonna be okay
- Remind him of his good qualities (Example: “Boo, remember that time you [insert great deed/achievement]? You were so [insert adjective]! I’m sure you’ll find a way to [insert verb] this situation.)
- Tell him how happy it made you when he did something that showed his maturity, concern for your feelings, etc.
By providing positive reinforcement to your man, he’ll be more responsive and motivated to make a change for the better. Nagging about it will only fall on deaf ears and you’ll get more of what you don’t want.
Make him see the big picture
At times, your man can miss the big picture by worrying about something irrelevant or just simply not having the proper guidance. A good way to help him broaden his perspective is to show him the benefits of this new concept. For example, if he’s not the best at managing money, introduce some personal finance tips to him and emphasize how in the long run he’ll keep more cash in his pocket. After doing this, he’ll be able to make an informed decision and he can no longer say nobody taught him.
Suggest, don’t tell
This goes hand in hand with the nagging: telling a man what to do will not get him to listen to you. Sometimes it’s better to suggest the idea to him. It’s like asking him to be your consultant. The more he feels like he’s being asked for his opinion, the more he’ll be able to weigh the pros and cons of a situation on his own without feeling like a 5-year-old with no say. Plus, he’ll appreciate being included in decision making and he’ll probably get a little bit of an ego boost.
Be an example
If you’re trying to get your man to try something new, change a behavior, etc. it helps if you are a star example of the change you’re trying to see. Mirroring is the name of the game. You know you’re on the wrong path if a conversation goes something like this: You – “You need to listen to me more!” Him – “Why? You don’t listen to me.” So before you try to motivate him to do something, ask yourself if you have been a good example for him to mirror.
When all else fails, use sex as a weapon
Sex. It’s a motivating factor for men (brash, but true). It can make a man do household chores that he absolutely hates, change up his lifestyle, and if need be, fight another man ‘til the death. Ladies, if a man is not motivated to do something, it helps (sometimes) to give him an incentive that will end with sex. If anything, it’ll pique his interest and keep him focused (for a while) on the task at hand. WARNING: don’t try this for major issues in the relationship. You might end up with the short end of the stick (no pun intended).
Written by Ariana Gaillard for BlogXilla.com