5 Ways Men Win Arguments With Their Girlfriend
Written by Ron Brown for BlogXilla.com
I am at home one day, getting ready for a long day of work ahead of me. My ritual of eating my breakfast and checking my social feeds were behind me–all that was left was to groom for the day. I walk into the bathroom, turn on the shower and then all of hell breaks loose!
My girl decides that this is the appropriate time to rummage through my phone! Now I know what a lot of you are thinking–you should have your phone locked down–and you are right, but that was not to be that day. To make a long story short, she found “questionable” text messages in my phone. In the 15 minutes I went to shower, she had completely disseminated the contents of my phone. She accessed things and interpreted them both in and out of context. So you know what happened, right… The words of the Michael Buffer “let’s get ready to rumble,” echoed through my head.
I get into arguments all the time, both professionally and personally and the one thing I can tell you is that I have become very skilled at winning. The following are my 5 tips to win arguments.
Choose your battles wisely–not every battle is worth fighting. There is a such thing as a lost cause. To quote Jay-Z (the Takeover) “a wise man told me don’t argue with fools, cause people from a distance can’t tell who is who”. You gotta think to yourself if it is worth it to even engage in a battle where so much is at stake if you lose vs nothing at stake if you don’t argue at all. In other words, it is a win to avoid a guaranteed loss!
Pay attention to the other person(s) in the argument--too often we get caught up in our own opinion that we fail to see the logic in the other side of the argument, or more importantly, the lack of it. You have to allow the other side an opportunity talk and give them the opportunity to shoot themselves in the foot. The flaw in your oppositions argument lies in what they say, but you need to listen for it! If you don’t hear it because you are trying to out talk them or talk over them, you will likely lose or your point won’t make it through to the other side.
Acknowledgement–probably one of the most underestimated elements to winning an argument is acknowledging the other persons valid points. It shows that you are fully aware of the topic and that you are reasonable. It also gives you an opportunity to increase your knowledge–no one knows everything and it is good to see wisdom from anothers perspective. People are more willing to concede victory to someone who comes off as gracious than to back down to someone who comes off as arrogant.
Be confident--there is not much worse than losing an argument, not because you are wrong, but because you come off as uncertain. I have witnessed people winning arguments on confidence and passion alone despite being wrong. I will go as far as to say that you can’t win if you don’t maintain a certain level confidence because you won’t be able to convince the other side that they lost. At best they will concede to you, but will feel that their point still had merit.
Be right!–nothing is more important and helps your cause more than empirical evidence and facts. Who ever has the facts on their side is ultimately the winner, whether they convince the opposition or not. What we fail to observe or understand sometimes is that the point of an argument is to demonstrate truth through debatable discussion. Being louder and/or more articulate does not make you right… facts and evidence do. Combine this knowledge with my other tips and you can’t lose! FYI, I lose arguments when I don’t follow my own advice.
When was your last argument? Did you win? Do you think these methods will work for you? Let’s converse.
Ron Brown - Logic personified