5 Ways Men Win Arguments With Their Girlfriend
Written by Ron Brown for BlogXilla.com
I am at home one day, getting ready for a long day of work ahead of me. My ritual of eating my breakfast and checking my social feeds were behind me–all that was left was to groom for the day. I walk into the bathroom, turn on the shower and then all of hell breaks loose!
My girl decides that this is the appropriate time to rummage through my phone! Now I know what a lot of you are thinking–you should have your phone locked down–and you are right, but that was not to be that day. To make a long story short, she found “questionable” text messages in my phone. In the 15 minutes I went to shower, she had completely disseminated the contents of my phone. She accessed things and interpreted them both in and out of context. So you know what happened, right… The words of the Michael Buffer “let’s get ready to rumble,” echoed through my head.
I get into arguments all the time, both professionally and personally and the one thing I can tell you is that I have become very skilled at winning. The following are my 5 tips to win arguments.
Choose your battles wisely–not every battle is worth fighting. There is a such thing as a lost cause. To quote Jay-Z (the Takeover) “a wise man told me don’t argue with fools, cause people from a distance can’t tell who is who”. You gotta think to yourself if it is worth it to even engage in a battle where so much is at stake if you lose vs nothing at stake if you don’t argue at all. In other words, it is a win to avoid a guaranteed loss!
Pay attention to the other person(s) in the argument--too often we get caught up in our own opinion that we fail to see the logic in the other side of the argument, or more importantly, the lack of it. You have to allow the other side an opportunity talk and give them the opportunity to shoot themselves in the foot. The flaw in your oppositions argument lies in what they say, but you need to listen for it! If you don’t hear it because you are trying to out talk them or talk over them, you will likely lose or your point won’t make it through to the other side.
Acknowledgement–probably one of the most underestimated elements to winning an argument is acknowledging the other persons valid points. It shows that you are fully aware of the topic and that you are reasonable. It also gives you an opportunity to increase your knowledge–no one knows everything and it is good to see wisdom from anothers perspective. People are more willing to concede victory to someone who comes off as gracious than to back down to someone who comes off as arrogant.
Be confident--there is not much worse than losing an argument, not because you are wrong, but because you come off as uncertain. I have witnessed people winning arguments on confidence and passion alone despite being wrong. I will go as far as to say that you can’t win if you don’t maintain a certain level confidence because you won’t be able to convince the other side that they lost. At best they will concede to you, but will feel that their point still had merit.
Be right!–nothing is more important and helps your cause more than empirical evidence and facts. Who ever has the facts on their side is ultimately the winner, whether they convince the opposition or not. What we fail to observe or understand sometimes is that the point of an argument is to demonstrate truth through debatable discussion. Being louder and/or more articulate does not make you right… facts and evidence do. Combine this knowledge with my other tips and you can’t lose! FYI, I lose arguments when I don’t follow my own advice.
When was your last argument? Did you win? Do you think these methods will work for you? Let’s converse.
Ron Brown - Logic personified
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Amen! I totally agree with this. When I know that an “argument” is coming, I typically get quiet and LISTEN. I ask clarifying questions. Saying that you understand what the other person is saying, BUT don’t agree, is healthy. Most people tend to still get mad and talk over you, but I can appreciate someone who doesn’t make me feel as though my thoughts aren’t important, or as though I don’t make valid points. I have learned over the years to be very “thoughtful” and “deliberate” in my speech and not just say things without processing them well in my head first. Great debaters (right or wrong) will eat you alive if you don’t.
Very valid points you made here. Sometimes people focus too much on trying to win an arguement that they forget how to get their point across efficiently. Being able to argue or debate without letting emotions or the desire to win overpower you can be difficult but thinking before you speak will get you a lot farther. Very interesting, keep up the good work!
A very valid point made with these comments that was not included in the blog (because it is not absolute) is the “emotion” factor. If not channeled right, emotions can lead to irrationality and comprimised judgement. It is a good modifier, but a poor main contributor. You guys sound like tough competition in the argument battlefield!
The best way to avoid an argument is to simply not have one at all! it is always wise to avoid confrontation when at all possible, but with that said if the opportunities to avoid at all cost do not present themselves and one must engage in the battle of the wits then be prepared, as for preparation is the key to life!
I live my life in the vein you just outlined, but arguments too often arise from others inability to do the same. Ego also gets in the way! The best way to avoid getting hit in a fight is to avoid it, but when you can’t the next best strategy is to be prepared!
I remember the first time my ex won an argument against me, he was so proud of himself lol. needless to say, i never let that happen again!
Lmao! Hope he does not read this blog!
Some solid points, especially the second one to listen to the other persons side.
Wise words from a cheating man jp valid points GD work rb
Lol @Ismael. Definitely some truth to that.
I’ll never understand the point of being right and winning an argument when at the end of the day, the actual reason why the argument started isn’t even addressed or more importantly, fixed. That isn’t what being in a long relationship is about. Winning a battle doesn’t mean you win the war. People that lie have a tendency to try cover things up, until they can’t anymore, and then everything spins out of control.
It’s just like when someone is too lazy to clean and just sweeps everything under a rug. All that dirt accumulates after time, and leads to an even messier clean up. I, personally, ended up throwing out that “rug”. Wasn’t worth the clean up, especially if I was going to do it all by myself.
Nice article, Ron Brown. Years of experience, I suppose.
It sounds like you are describing an argument that takes place for arguments sake. The true point of winning an argument is to enlighten the mind of the person who does not have facts or reason on their side. Both sides can’t be equally right and if you are on the side of greater reason, this blog helps you reach the opposition in a proven, respectable manner. If one person concedes to the other knowing the other is right–it is a win for both. If stubbornness is allowed to rule–it is a loss for both. An argument should result in the trash being swept into a pile and then the garbage. It should not result in collateral damage. Having to throw out the metaphorical rug means stubbornness owned the moment.