10 Places to Have 4th of July Sex
Summer holidays are so fun and exciting! The weather is good, there are so many things going on and everyone just wants to have good, wholesome fun. Well, maybe not good, wholesome fun — but the 4th of July calls for getting out and enjoying yourself. Speaking of getting out, here are some fun places you can have some good ol’ patriotic sex.
1. During a fireworks show. Be as loud as you want, no one will hear you moan.
2. On a boat. If you have access to one. DUH. Unless you or your partner is prone to sea sickness.
3. In the wilderness. Let the other campers roast marshmallows while you work on pitching a tent.
4. On your rooftop. If you’re the multi-tasking sort, take your business up to the roof after dark so you can make the sex and watch the fireworks display at the same time.
5. On a picnic blanket. So sweet. So innocent. So HOT.
6. Inside an ice cream truck. Popsicles, cones, and sprinkles. Oh my. You won’t be calling anyone Mister Softee.
7. In a pool. You won’t get sweaty, but you will have fun.
8. On a Slip ‘n Slide. This is basically a glorified, outdoor sex toy. Have at it.
9. On the beach. Just watch out for getting sand all up in the cracks. Nobody ever mentions that do they?
10. On a national monument. Or if it’s possible IN a national monument. Now that’s showing your patriotism.
Now, unless you enjoy the excitement of getting caught, I dono’t know about the “be as loud as you want” part of having sex during a fireworks show. You know, that awkward moment when you’re loud in an equally loud environment and everything gets quiet out of nowhere, except you? Yeah.