Why You’re Not Enjoying Sex
No one should have to be subjected to sex that they don’t enjoy, and if you are, it’s probably a good idea to get to the bottom of it. Of course, your partner could just be bad in the sack; but if you aren’t enjoying it no matter who or what, there may be personal factors involved that you don’t even realize.
1. You’re Just Not Ready
In order to really enjoy sex, your body needs to be ready. Not just mentally or emotionally ready, but physically, biologically ready… Foreplay isn’t just something that we like; foreplay is something that we need. If a woman isn’t lubricated enough (and not all women produce enough vaginal lubrication; this is why we buy some at the drug store or specialty sex boutique), sex isn’t going to be as enjoyable as it could be if we were really ready.
2. You’re Guilty
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Other than our skin, our brains are our biggest sex organ. If our brain isn’t into sex, it’s extraordinary difficult for our bodies to be. Perhaps the biggest contributor to our brain’s inability to fully engage and enjoy sex comes from years of mixed and unhealthy messaging about female sexuality. If during your childhood you were told about the “loose” girls or the (ugh, I hate this term) “promiscuous” ones, you were getting some insidious messages about female sexuality. You were being told (deliberately or inadvertently) about the sexual double standard. You were not supposed to want sex; you weren’t supposed to enjoy sex.
3. You’re Not Into Your Partner
Okay, so no one really wants to be the one to say it, but if you’re not enjoying sex, it may be because you’re not really interested in the person you’re having sex with. Maybe they are selfish lovers; maybe their hygiene is questionable. For whatever reason, if your partner isn’t getting you excited, sex isn’t going to be all that exciting.
4. You Have Negative Body Image
It’s easy to get overwhelmed with negative body image when the majority of images of women are photoshopped and airbrushed (and those are the size twos!). But in all seriousness, if you aren’t comfortable in your own skin it affects your ability to enjoy sex.
5. You’re Stressed
Stress can wreak havoc on our libidos, but having an orgasm is a great way of relieving stress. Quite an interesting dilemma! Any type of anxiety about work, family, home, finances (and the list goes on), can sabotage our desire to have sex and psyche us out of having an orgasm (and that’s the cure, remember?).
6. You Have an Underlying or Ongoing Medical Condition
Sometimes our inability to enjoy sex is out of our control, meaning, there are other medical conditions at play. (Hormones, blood flow challenges, side effects from medications, chronic issues)
Do you have first hand experience with this? How did you overcome?