Married 2 The Blog Presented By BlogXilla

My Twitter Feed

5 Ways A Man Must Dominate His Woman During Sex

Boyz II Men might make love to you, but when I do the grown up my goal is complete domination. I like rough sex, so I’m not trying to tickle the kitty, I’m trying to beat the pussy up! With that said there comes a time when a man MUST dominate his woman.

Not because he’s an alpha man or has something to prove, but rather because the woman wants to be dominated. Almost every woman I know likes to be bossed around in the bedroom. Just last week, one of my women told me she likes having sex better than head, adding there is “Something about feeling dominated.”

Ask Men Magazine said being dominated is one of women’s 10 most requested fantasies. So, I’ve come up with 5 ways to totally dominate a woman.

–Call her dirty names – I never disrespect a woman I am with, by calling her out of her name, unless it’s during sex. I say things like “Take this dick b*tch,” while I’m thrusting the ManXilla deep inside her vagina with the intention of making her feel it in her stomach. As she moans with joy, I’ll assert my dominance by saying, “shut up! Stop running from my dick, slut” as she inches back from the force of my steady thrusting.

–Choke her - I have big hands, so I like to wrap them around my woman’s neck and give her a little choke to catch her off guard. My favorite maneuver is when I kiss her on her cheek while rubbing her face, before I slide my huge hand down to her neck, place it around her throat and squeeze hard as I can for a few seconds before letting up a little, but still keeping enough force so she can’t move her neck. All while sliding my thick perfect size penis inside her, fast and deep, as many times as I can. Over and over again. I call that the Colt 45 because when it comes to making her come “it works every time.”

–Hit her. I believe that domination requires a little pain. Now I’m not advocating for men to Ike Turner their women, but a love tap on her cheek goes a long way. Believe me when I say smacking her ass is a must. Aggressive sex is only good when I rough her up a little bit by smacking her booty and pulling her hair. Hard. I’ll rip her weave out if I have to, just to prove I am in control. Don’t worry, I’ll pay for the next hair appointment. Also, if she’s sucking me off, best believe I am going to smack her in the face with the ManXilla, a couple of times. #XillaShrug

–Spit on her. I’ve actually got mixed reviews about this one but it’s domination and the woman I’m with has no say. I will spit on her pussy and shove my dick in, while holding her down. Spit can play a vital part of great sex. Lick her face, lick her twat, spit on her tit, or if you have to, spit on her face and in her mouth. She freaky right? Find out.

–Use props. All out domination cannot be limited, so I’m never afraid to use toys. I’ll blindfold her with a scarf, shirt or whatever I can find. I’ll gag her with her panties. Now that’s sexy! I’ll shove whatever phallic sex toy she has in her and fuck her with it how I want to. When you add those factors with hard sex aimed at pleasing the bottom of her vagina walls. It’s passion, pain and pleasure.

Domination is all about a woman’s need to feel owned! Doing the tips I have provided are a “win-win female sex fantasy scenario that allows her to fully indulge her femininity, while still espousing the merits of feminism.” Have you been dominated? Do you like to be dominated? When was the last time you had aggressive rough sex? Let’s converse.

Written by, Xilla. The CEO of He has been featured in XXL, The Source, Essence, Playboy, LA Times and is considered the premiere sex blogger in the industry. He is widely known as the Sexual Intellectual by many of his peers and fans. Follow him on twitter @BlogXilla

41 Responses to “5 Ways A Man Must Dominate His Woman During Sex”
  1. WhiteGirlWasted says:

    Wow this was amazing. I wish my current dude would do this to me. I’m forwarding this to him soon as he wake up!!

    My ex used to give it to me like this but eh!!! I don’t know about spitting tho. Thats just nasty.

    • BK_mami says:

      Ha I agree all of the above is great except the spitting! lol.

      • Xilla says:

        you never had no one spit on you? Should Try it sometime.

        • Ivonne says:

          i’ve wanted to try spitting for a while. my last dude was into all of that stuff but we were over before i could try. i think sometimes you meet a real man’s man that makes you want all of this, even the spitting.

        • Ivy says:

          Spitting is a great thing during aggressive sex even passionate non aggressive sex it feels like your taking that person inside if you completely. It is such a turn on!!! I didnt know till when I was 23 this older guy did it to me and it shocked me and threw me off guard but i could not believe how turned on I was after!!! Spitting on face and mouth may sound Nasty but if you really have that chemistry with the person it feels incredible!!!

        • KD says:

          No and slap me either. I’d be slapping back. Sorry, “fun” only goes so far

        • Bryan says:

          What a load of crap!

    • Arev70 says:

      My boyfriend spits in my mouth every time we are having sex, some times when we kissing and I love it

  2. Ms. Dee says:

    I officially can’t read you during work hours, I’m all hot over here! Lol. I’ve experienced EVERYTHING on this list…minus the spitting, unless it’s me spitting on the pipe of course….and I LOVE it! I love being choked, especially when I get it from behind, and dirty talk is a complete turn on for me. Oddly enough I’ve had to coach men when it comes to dirty talk. I don’t know if it’s because they’re scared I’m going to flip if they call me a b*tch or because they just don’t know how, but once I get them going they can’t stop!

    Another good one Xilla :-)

  3. Rayne says:

    So… *hits share button* My boyfriend needs to read this. I have noooo problem being a whore for him in bed, but it’s like he’s afraid to take it THERE. And I loooove choking but he doesn’t like doing it… says it’s degrading.

    …AND? lol.

  4. Sandy says:

    Just too much 4 me I think I will remain a square 4 life… Your list is too advance for me….

    • Xilla says:

      lol I love your comment. I’m glad you know you’re self but when you’re willing to dive into the deep end!! Try it.

    • too square huh! lol I was a happily married mother of 7 – and vanilla was all i knew – sex was good with husband until one fight from hell, where he did all of the above (yes even the spitting lol).

      All i can say is afterwards I was one confused woman – i was horrified by just how much i liked it lol

      now well, lets just say he’s the master, what he says goes, but it still takes a bit of a fight from me first. I had never heard of subspace except on star trek lol

      the subject now fascinates me – I love being spanked when naughty, i love being held down and taken rough and hard, slapped and called names, choked slightly (like your lady up there – esp when taken from behind).

      There is still space in our life for loving and romance but when the dynamics get skewed there is one sure way to put things right lol

      Great blog and terrific post btw – we need more honesty less pretentiousness in our love lives, I wonder how men would behave towards their women if they were to be told, no laws, no rules, no comebacks, take her how you want and do what you want – i think wine and dine would be history lol xxx

  5. Firstly “Colt 45″ you are too much!!! The bedroom is really where a man is made and helps gain that “King” title. The right amount of pleasure and pain, dominance and “know how” will have you yearned after for years to come. We women are rule just as much by that sweet spot in the p*ssy as we are by our heart!!!!

    • Xilla says:

      Word. A woman will never give you certain things, but she’ll be okay if you take em!

      • Bryan says:

        I don’t think you’re married. It sounds like you’re sleeping with way too much hookers. Just think about your dad screwing your mom like that. Not a nice picture is it eh?

  6. Ms JD says:

    Mr. Xilla—

    This post is right on time! The moment I started reading, something started to happen to me-instantly (intellectually, sexually, physiologically, etc)

    I’m a big fan of all that you mention and have had some great lovers who have just gone for it. I appreciate that man’s control of the situation. And like some of the others-I’ve never experienced the spitting part. But… I’m not opposed to trying it out once (or twice). It certainly takes a free individual to engage….

    I say, relax and figure out what turns you on. You won’t know unless you try it.

    • Xilla says:

      I wish more women were like you. You’re right it takes a free individual to engage in these acts and that’s the problem most of us aren’t free. Damn shame too.

      • Nina says:


        My man has done all of the above to a certain extent – I’m pretty confident toys and a little more choking are in the near future. My question is how to get my man feeling as hot as I do when all of the above is done to me?? What can I do to him that’ll blow his mind and impair his vision and mentality for a couple days. :D

    • AChitaaaa says:

      -agreed with both of you..

  7. B says:

    I love this! My man does all the above, minus the spitting (idk bout this one) and its great! S/O to my boo he’s a fan of the site too.

  8. Treyf Vixen says:

    yesyesyes. And hell yes to spitting. It’s the perfect humiliation some days.
    Just GOT TO make sure that he knows when his ‘perfect set of holes’ says “No” for real…and then he’s really got to quit. And she needs to know that she gets to say “no” any ol time. Agreeing on some word (or double tap like in some sports if her mouth is full) that will stop everything for a minute to add lube or quit bangin on her cervix fer chrissakes or even for no reason has got to be cool. mmmmm

  9. Lei says:

    i dont know how i feel about the spitting… i’ve been there, done that with everything else though.

  10. twin says:

    I love aggressive sex; I had my first experience with my dude when he decided to choke me during sex, which was the biggest rush and the best organism. I pretty much tried everything on this list minus the prop. But we will be working on that next. :-) My dude use spit when we have sex like you say xilla, it is the best sex when he spit on the puss and slide right in amazing!!!!

  11. This was a funny but real post. I’m definitely not into the spitting stuff though.

  12. Jessica says:

    I love when my man does all of the above and more. I love being choked, spanked, called names, smacked, hair pulled, pussy spanked. All of it. I even love when he ties me up or holds me down when I try to squirm away. And I love that he has no problem passing me off to his friends and watching as they all get me at once. Men need to be in control, and woman need to let them. Sex is for a mans pleasure and a way for woman to be pleased through their pleasure… Get it together ladies.

  13. Lisa says:

    Jessica you sound like a damn fool. You have no self worth and are a complete idiot. You’re denser than rocks

    • mya says:

      Yeah, sex is not for a man’s pleasure. I’m into being dominated, but hell will freeze over before I’m “passed” to anybody. And if I hear that suggestion, the dude just lost me. If I don’t cum, the dude just lost me. Being dominated in bed is just a play of the mind enhanced by orgasm.

  14. drizzy says:

    Well I’d agree with all this as a woman. I thinkkkkk my boyfriend does everything listed here and we have wonderful rough sex. at first I was a little apprehensive about the spitting but then one time during sex I was so turned on that I asked him to do it and he spit on my face and my mouth and my stomach. What I’m trying to say is, even if your gf/bf doesn’t wanna do it at first, that doesn’t mean they don’t want to….they just gotta be turned the fck ON!!

  15. Katie says:

    Never have had rough sex, I’d love to!! :( wish my bf would, he likes it soft and sweet

  16. MekaDoc says:

    I just needed to say this to make sure anyone who reads this will be very careful. If a man wants to try this with a woman he better get approval from her first. Because all it takes is one rape accusation to ruin your life. I also have to address another issue. This is about choking a person. Yeah, it is fun and you may think it is harmless, but blocking blood flow to a persons head can have major consequences. A person could have a stroke, death, and even worse you could kill parts of the brain and cause horrible neurological disorders. Now that I’ve said it, I feel better. I would also like to say I am one of the dirtiest guys on the planet in the bedroom, and I love rough sex. I just haven’t found my “all of the above” girl yet. Peace Yo

  17. Sarie88 says:

    I LOVE SPITTING !!! Its so sexy!!! Love when he spits in my mouth <3 omg!!!!

  18. mya says:

    I agree with your blog. I need to be owned by a man in the bedroom. His lady by day and his bitch by night. I like the spitting, wherever he sees fit to make wet. I just draw the limits with hardcore fetishism, which I think is not so much about domination as they are humiliation. I love being expected to service my lover as soon as he sees me. I love slapping and spanking. Being expected to count each slap and say thank you. I like choking. I like unannounced sexual advances like when I’m cooking or walking or whatever and he just decides inside of me is where he wants to be. It’s an absolute must in my life!

    I get turned on by “rules” I get the days I know he’ll see me. Rules can be a fun way to build up suspense before the experience of sex that night. Maybe he will request an erotic photoshoot with explicit wardrobe instructions (no panties, but garterbelt. Thigh highs with a back seam, red heels, black cincher. No bra. The pink dildo, anal play only). Or My man might ask me to go to work with a plug in my ass all day. When I see him that night, he takes it out and might slide his tongue or finger in. It’s all incredibly erotic and compells my obedience even outside of the bedroom. If a man can be strong enough to dominate me, he gets whatever he wants, wherever. Within reason.

  19. AreYouMental says:

    I was reading over this article and I wonder at how dishonest of you to categorize this foul shit as rough sex. Sounds like BDSM is more your scene. If a man ever did any of these without a discussion first he would be in a pool in of his own blood especially to spit in someone’s face is a major disrespect. That is consider a form of assault and there are people sitting in prison right now for spitting in people’s food and spitting on that person period. That is nasty and if you were to ever fuck the wrong woman it would be too funny for your ass if she got you locked up for crying rape you sick fuck.

    • Jesus….you are so fucking pussy mental….if you fuck a woman right …even if you rape her…but doing right job she will want more…but if you fuck and cumm like an stupid animal after 3 minutes…she will cry rape and …send you to jail …LOL

  20. Mel says:

    I love when he spits in my mouth. It was so spontaneous. All he said was open your mouth. And viola!! It was my first time with the spit last night

  21. Mel says:

    I love when he spits in my mouth. It was so spontaneous. All he said was open your mouth. And viola!! It was my first time with the spit last night

Leave A Comment