Posted by Xilla in Rated Grown Up | 18 Comments
Never Order The Most Expensive Thing On The Menu
Ladies, I thought we had an agreement. I thought we had a pact. If you’re a fan of Seinfeld and remember the episode about George and the pigeons, this is my version of that. One woman broke a bunch of unwritten laws, and I cannot remain quiet anymore. This is my story. I’m not a cheap guy, I consider myself a hardworking man who knows the value of a buck, but also understands that no matter how much money you have, you can’t take it with you when you die.
“Money wall to wall, young famous nigga, spend it all, when you die you can’t take it withcha’” ~ Wiz Khalifa
So in comes this girl I was dealing with. How we met is a story in itself, but I’ll say she was the younger version of a girl I once knew. Since I already knew I wanted her vagina to play hide and seek with the ManXilla, I invited her out to the luxurious Trump Soho Hotel for drinks. It’s a great venue, nice, elegant and exclusive.
So we are sitting there, drinking, her champagne and me, vodka, conversing about the things that I knew would interest her. I found out more about her life, since I wanted to know her. While I was speeding down a road to sex, I wanted to know her, I cared about her interest. I actually liked her a lot. I just didn’t feel like waiting to have sex with her.
So after a few hours of drinks, and great conversation we decide to leave the Trump Soho Hotel. We are both in desperate need of some food to soak up all the alcohol we’ve been drinking. So I decided to bring her to one of my favorite spots. It’s a complete whole in the wall compared to where we just were, but I love the drinks, I love the bartenders and I love the fact that it’s close to everything.
We order more drinks and some food. Now, let me remind you this is a whole in the wall, she looks at the menu, and says she wants steak. I look at the menu, because I didn’t know they served steak here, and I notice it’s “The Most Expensive Thing On The Menu.”
No need to fear, I got more than enough money to cover the bill and I take that as a sign that I’m going to get some ass tonight. Plus we went from the Trump Soho to a whole in the wall it was the least I could do. I’ll consider this as my punishment.
I offered another rounds of drinks, and she said she wanted to get drunk, and a few minutes later she agreed to have a long island ice tea. Yeah! My penis being very social in her vagina, is now inevitable.
We finish our drinks, head back to my place, and as soon as we walk in the door, we go at it. Kissing and hugging. I ate her out, because she was fine as hell, no scent and damn it I was in the mood. A short while later I rolled a condom on the manxilla and slid inside her nice, young, warm wet pussy from the back and her moans made me happy.
Fast forward to our next meeting. I took her to an R&B concert, we went in through the VIP entrance, I introduced her to the artist, got her some more drinks and again headed to get something to eat.
This time it was a unique cuisine, a fancy restaurant to say the least. The menu confused her and she didn’t know what to get. The prices her steep so she asked me what was her limit. I’m Master P, I got money, there is no limit. She can get whatever she wants. She barks off a few suggestions. The waiter comes over and offers us more time. I order an appetizer while she decides. She ask me again what can she get, I say get whatever. I fully know it’s a pricey restaurant, but when the waiter comes back she gets ”The Most Expensive Thing On The Menu.”
Water was 16 dollars. We brought two of them. I’m a bit shocked, because out of all my dates no one has ever ordered the Most Expensive thing before. I thought there was a rule, an unwritten code that you never order the most expensive dish. But hey! I got the money no big deal.
We eat the appetizer, and by the time the food comes, I notice she’s not eating it. She’s picking at her dish. Long story short she didn’t even eat the shit. She didn’t want it. I offered to take a doggy bag, I told her no! I sent it back to the kitchen. I felt sorry for the kids in Africa, because $100 could have fed a village.
No worries I’m thinking she’s going to suck me off, swallow my nut and let me stick it in her butt, but she only offered me guilt sex. That I just wasted mad money and mad food so here is some pussy. I took her to a random bathroom, I bust a quick nut and went home.
I learned something, its okay to put a limit on dinner. It’s not about being cheap, but more about the expectation levels. Ordering the most expensive thing on the menu says something about you. It’s like if a guy buys you a car, and a house along with a pair of Victoria’s Secret underwear. He’s expecting something in return.
Do you order the most expensive thing on the menu? Should a woman ever order the highest price entry and not eat it? Would you ever test a guy?
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I think you can order big if the guy insists you try a specific dish or if you are paying… I think a woman should always offer to pay at least half. It’s courtesy. Now if your with a guy who doesn’t allow me to pay…. I always try to pay for a round of drinks when he isn’t looking.
What lady doesnt like being pampered??? But, we have to at least show the guy we appreciate the generosity.
I agree, show him you’re as much of a boss as he is and at least offer. Drinks at the very least. He might end up owing you some D at the end of the night.
yeah it’s cool if a guy says hey get this.. than get it… that’s in his price range. Let’s be real it’s a recession, but even then if you order the most expensive thing at least eat the shit!! lol
I think if the guy is ballin…. Get what you can.
p**** shouldn’t be cheap. Lol
there is nothing wrong with cheap pussy! Because it should be free! lol
I always insist on finding out what he wants… And order the same. Lol. Steak for everyone!
She should order whatever she wants…and no that does not mean she owes him sex later. Sex for a meal is not an equal exchange, shit i can feed myself and make myself cum!
I order modestly because I am a picker and I rarely finish a whole meal. I think a female that orders the most expensive thing on the menu is a tell tale sign that she is taking advantage and not used to having a good meal on a regular. You don’t need that.
that’s BS. I like wine, love it actually. any guy I’ve ever dated understands that when we go to dinner, we will be spending a decent amount of money on wine. it’s not the quantity either (3 glasses will pretty much have me tipsy)it’s the quality. I enjoy a good quality, full-bodied glass of wine and at times, they can be expensive which in turn can raise the cost of the entire meal. this has ZERO to do with me not “eating a good meal on a regular basis” as I buy expensive wine for my home as well. it’s what i like and if we’re going to dinner, i should be able to get what i like and not worry about it. i have no qualms spending big money to feed a brother either. it’s food and it should be enjoyed, you’re also spending that time to get to know one another. why begrudge that because of price?
I order what my taste-buds may have a taste for, and besides my pu**y is priceless so whats a few dollars on a meal? The guy has to look at it like this I eat good now at the restaurant and I may can eat her later if she gets what she wants off the menu> LoL
I think that was your fault Xilla, you kept insisting on getting whatever you want. I do have a checklist as well as far as; ordering the most expensive thing, her not offering to pay the tip (after the first date), her not saying “thank you, I enjoyed myself bae”, etc.
However you gave her this Persona of “All about the Benjamins” and “Its Mine, I Spend It” so you gotta eat that bill. And for a grown man with a real job (career), my Cuz makes over 100k at a law firm, a hundred isnt sh!t. For a college n!gga like me, I make a hundred stretch 3 wks or more.
I think a lady should order whatever she wants although, she should not intentionally order the most expensive thing just because she isnt paying for it and exchanging sex for a meal (of any price) just doesnt make sense to me.
I think if you introduce her to fine dinning just be ready to pay a fine bill for the dinner.
Honestly, I don’t go out on a date without at least $100 in tote, because what if you wouldn’t have had the funds like you initially had and can’t pay for the meal, somebody would have been busting suds in the kitchen.
It’s like if you had a bone would you not expect a dog to bark?! LoL but it’s kind of your fault Xilla.
I would test a guy especially if he’s talking lots of Cash Money talk, ya damn right! Then I will know if money ain’t no thing. I would order anything to my liking!
so… let me get this straight…because she ordered the “most expensive thing on the menu”… you felt entitled to some ass? maybe i’m missing something here but, if you take a woman out on a date and are going to buy her dinner, she should be able to order whatever she wants from the menu & whatever she orders, regardless of price and if YOU offered to take HER to dinner… you should pay for it and not moan about it NOR expect that her steak should come with a side of ass for you. I thought we were well beyond this whole idea of “i fed you, now fuck me” mentality… it’s 2011 and quite frankly, that thought process is antiquated and ridiculous. unfortunately, you were dating a bird who decided that cost meant quality in regards to her meal so she ordered some shit she probably couldn’t pronounce, much less eat when it arrived. that was her mistake but YOUR mistake was even equating the cost of her food with the level of sex you’d be getting later…smh
i dnt think it’s the “i fed u now fuck me” thing, but alot of classless women do order the most expensive thing on the menu, on purpose tryna see if they can break a nigga pockets… its quite sad. you dont even like lobster but you’re ordering it because its costly?? thats as corny as the “i fed you, now fuck me” policy…
Only women who aren’t used to much, or used to money period, order the most expensive thing on the menu. They believe it shows that they’re worth it, but it actually shows how much they aren’t worth… Now me, i order what i like! if i like a $52 steak, then thats what i get, but i never get it to see if you can afford it. If you’re taking me out on a date, most likely you can…