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Hoes Be Winning! Whores Finish First By Jean DeGrate

***Not necessarily “whores,” but I like using the word. Let’s just say that according to the Jean DeGrate dictionary, and for the purposes of this blog, “whores” are women with friendlier vaginas than most others.***

There’re two kinds of hoes out here: 1) The out-in-the-open hoes, and 2) The fuck on the first or second date hoes. The out-in-the-open hoes normally get played as sideline chicks and jump-offs, and even in that role, they normally finish second. This blog is about the “fuck on the first or second date” hoes. It’s a war going on right now between good girls and whores. The whores are winning by a landslide… and here’s why.

Do you know any lonely hoes? No… me either. Come to think of it, some of the happiest people I know are hoes. They kind of have this carefree way about them, never really stressed for a long period of time, but I guess that’s because they keep a man on deck.

Pre-pussy madness

  • It’s almost an exact science. These hoes have developed what I like to call the “getting the dumb shit out of the way approach,” and by “dumb shit,” I mean fucking. There’s this strange area in every relationship that exists between the initial meeting and fucking: the pre-pussy stage. During that span, most guys are the nicest, most charming motherfuckers you’ll ever meet, and that’s mostly because they are doing almost everything in their power not to mess up their chances of getting you naked. During this stage, women are different too. While men are aiming to hit you with the daddy stroke, women, on the other hand, are aiming to make a good impression, keeping all her skeletons tucked away in hopes of developing a relationship. It’s like two people pretending to be better than they actually are to fool the other into liking them. The shit is beyond crazy. The sooner they fuck, the sooner shit gets real.

Whores aren’t limited by such inhibitions

  • The difference between a regular woman and a whore is a whore doesn’t view sex as a prize. That’s right ladies and gentlemen: there is no imaginary finish line, no coochie points to accumulate, no allotted time frame for fucking, or any of that preconceived bullshit. Yes… bullshit. Good girls put a strict timeframe on the pussy to avoid being considered a whore or easy. A good girl will let you kiss all over her, maybe slide in a finger or two, get her panties soaking wet, but won’t fuck… just because she doesn’t want to be grouped into the “whore” category the next day. For a hoe, it’s really simple: if she’s feeling him and wants to fuck him… she will. There’s no pedestal for her to take the pussy off of to get the show on the road. After the sex, he’ll pretty much stop pretending he’s this great guy, and if they really like each other, they’ll move forward. So while, the regular woman would have spent 3 to 4 weeks dating Mr. Not-So-Right to find out he ain’t shit, the whore would have gotten to that knowledge (all the while getting a nut or two out of the way) in 6 days and moved on to the next nigga on her roster.

Dating in numbers

  • Good girls tend to date one dude at a time. Yeah, she might go out with Anthony on Tuesday for happy hour and do lunch with James on Thursday, but those dudes are in the friend zone, and they don’t even know it. She really likes Mike so she’s only seriously dating him. Anthony and James are just fill-ins when Mike isn’t available or she’s (for whatever reason) trying to pretend she’s keeping things with Mike low-key. On the other hand, if a hoe has 3 dudes on her roster, all those dudes are getting clock, and they are all in equal contention until one dude clearly pulls out ahead of the rest. It’s a recipe for success, and the odds of a hoe finding a compatible suitor are much higher because she covering more ground in less time.

Whores don’t reboot

  • After the good girl has wasted 6 weeks to 3 months dating Mr. Wrong, she often becomes a bit of a recluse. She spends the next couple weeks mulling around in a man-hating funk. She can’t eat; she can’t sleep; the bitch is damn near on suicide watch over a 3 month “relationship”. Whores don’t have such hang-ups because they don’t intertwine sex and emotion as deeply as the good girl. When one dude turns out not to be the dude for her, she just moves on to the next one (no Jay-Z).

Feeding into misconceptions

  • There are all these little “easy girls” delusions floating around that lead poor good girls to act against what might actually benefit them. They are so stuck on what “society” may or may not say is the right thing to do. The biggest misconception is that men won’t like you if you sleep with them too soon. Bullshit. From a fiscal standpoint, dating an easy woman is a smart move. Do you know how much an average date costs? Dinner, movies, and drinks will run you at least $150 on the low end, only to finish the night with a pelvis out church hug. After 3 good dates, you could easily be down 450 to 800 bucks to get a goodnight kiss. Yeah… she’s cool, but Lil Ray-Ray had the crystal clear bootleg of all 3 of the movies you just took her to see for $5 each, and you just paid $800 for a kiss… no tongue. So yeah, the hoe that’s fucking fast will get a return call. Simple economics tells us it’s more bang for the buck… literally. Unless the pussy is bad, she can expect a follow up date. As far as the hoe with horrible pussy, she might still finish first if her head is on the one or she’s cool sitting Indian-style on the floor, watching bootlegs, and eating carry-out, but that’s another blog.

Now with all that said, do you know any lonely good girls or stand up chicks? I know tons of them, and I mean it can be 10:35pm on a Saturday night in the middle of summer and these bitches are sitting on the bed, eating ice cream, watching Bravo, ALONE. I also know a ton of stand up chicks dating ain’t shit niggas because they don’t want to start from scratch all over again.

I’m not telling you good girls to go out and start fucking on the first date; I’m just simply asking, where were you last Saturday at 10:35PM?
Jean DeGrate has spoken

[author] [author_image timthumb='on'][/author_image] [author_info]Jean DeGrate is A 31 Year Old resident of Washington DC. He fights crime between the hours of 7am and 9am on the 6th Sunday of every month. He considers himself a hood dude with an opinion and a day job. Read the tweets, read the blogs, and you’ll figure it out. He is Jean DeGrate.[/author_info] [/author]

13 Responses to “Hoes Be Winning! Whores Finish First By Jean DeGrate”
  1. CandiceHoe says:

    “Do you know any lonely hoes? No…me either.” LMAO I damn near choked on my tea! But seriously, no. I really don’t.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Honestly, I felt like this glorified certain not-so-attractive traits that in the long run, won’t serve the “whore” any good when it’s time to find a REAL man, as in husband. I get what you’re saying. and it makes sense. For a whore.

    • Jean DeGrate says:

      Whores find real men all the time. You honestly can’t tell me you don’t know at least one woman in a serious relationship that has a questionable sexual history. What whore traits are going to stand in her way.

  3. Ant says:

    Good read. The good girls need to loosen up some(no pun intended) or they will be at home watching Baby Boy on Bet for a while. The hoes just need to chill so they can save some money. The money used on those next day pills. lol

  4. Prada-o-says says:

    This article made me laugh out loud. It also made me fwd it to my friends on both sides of the “whore” spectrum. I am a stong beliver that some women are both good girls and whores depending on what guy they are seeing.

  5. Fancy says:

    lol. I totally agree with this article. But you would be surprised how much $$ a man would spend on the hunt to get in those pants.

  6. Diva007 says:

    I think men can have “whore traits” as well. They can be too tired for sex or just not as sexually active with their wife or girl friend at home. But then turn around and be a major freak or just way more adventurous with the other woman.

  7. Taneda says:

    As both girls rolled in one….prolonging the pre pussy stage can tell you alot about who your dealing with. If he is stressed by you holding out for a week and talks suicide if you dont give him some you, my friend you just dodged a major bullet. RUN!!! Now know whether its a relationship or a JUMP, nobody wants a crazy man in their camp.
    If got a dude that has too many women in his camp that he cant take the time or spend the money to “fake” date you. RUN!!! He wont even pick up on Mcdonalds on his way over if you ask. Kick this wackness to the curb.
    I mean i gonna give you some just act the way i need you to so that after major regret wont set in. That way we all “win”.

  8. Jean DeGrate says:

    By the way I’m the author

  9. As a woman who is a firm believer in going after what I want, why play games? If you know within hours of meeting someone you want to screw em, what’s the sense of playing mind games? I’m not saying jump on EVERY penis that comes around but it takes the guessing out of the whole situation. Men do this shit all the time.

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