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Too Many Baby Mothers, And Not Enough Wives… Blame The Men!

Photo via CM f.5.6 via Flickr

Damn it ,en. It’s time to step up our game. Last week my good friend Pete M wrote a blog called the real reason women can’t find a good man, about how women outnumber men making the odds of finding a man much harder. While my time in Atlanta confirmed this, I actually have a different thought process… Why the hell can’t a black man find a woman to complete him?

Think about it, it’s the men who should get down on one knee and ask for a woman’s hand in marriage. It’s the man who is suppose to provide. It’s the man who is suppose to be a man and make the first step but instead we got the game fucked up. Hip Hop girlfriends are dropping down on one knee and asking rappers to marry them “For Love or For Ratings.” That’s just wrong.

Look Ill be the first to own up to my part in the stigma of the single black woman. I’ve placed a lot of blame on the independent woman for not being able to find a man. I’ve posted blogs telling dudes to avoid dating single mothers. I’ve promoted cheating, justified being a side chick and written entire guides telling women how to steal another chick’s man. Now it’s time for us men to step up to the plate and start making honest women out of the queens we met.

I firmly believe that the reason there are more women than men in the world is so we can find the right woman for us. Men are fuck ups, we routinely do dumb shit and there wasn’t so many women for us to practice on we’d probably run out of women and live in a world full of lesbians. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating but you get my point.

Now is the time for men to stop chasing jumpoffs, and start making wives. Because it’s up to men to pop the question. It’s up to the men to climb to the level of our strong “good” women and met her on her level BEFORE asking her out on a date. No women, black or white should should settle for a man who will never be on her level career wise. Its up to us men to demand more of ourselves.

The fact is that being single is fun, for men and women but it’s time for us to change the future. There is nothing wrong with a single woman, or a single man, but we are skipping steps because we are liking it and not putting a ring on it. Maybe we can blame the facebook like button. Maybe we can blame hip hop. Maybe we should blame ourselves and take responsibility. I know too many men with baby mama drama, too many mother’s who can’t stand their baby father’s. Bottom line there are too many baby mothers and baby fathers and not enough husbands and wives. So it’s up to us to make our women wives, if we don’t we cannot be mad when someone else does.

So what do you think? Could the real reason so many women are single, simply be men? Is it time for men to grow up, step up to the plate and start making women, wives instead of jumpoffs? Why are you single? Lets converse.

Comments
8 Responses to “Too Many Baby Mothers, And Not Enough Wives… Blame The Men!”
  1. Ace says:

    Aside from Cinderella stories and pieces that I’ve read that I’m not remembering, THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE READ!!! It’s direct, precise and just fabulous.

    I do think we need to take responsibility to sex, self worth and bringing children into this world with no stability, financial issues and faux relationships. I do believe it starts when we are younger. Young guys doing it to whoever and wherever, slutting around and young girls settling and smutting more than the next chick thinking it gets them somewhere.

    KUDOS XILLA, AMAZING!!!

    sn: w/e happened to the internship/freelance position for the site?

  2. MissPhoenix says:

    I think it’s the faults of men AND women. Both sexes have lowered their standards so much that marriage isn’t as much of a priority anymore as living in the moment. After that moment is over, what lies in the future? Being someone’s baby mama/daddy? Being 60+ in a club singing “Shake that Monkey”? Reminiscing on the good ol’ days? If both sexes step up, maybe marriage can be restored.

    • lola289 says:

      Exactly…

    • 43kevin511 says:

      Your right,its Womens as well as The Mens. From a Male prospective,I myself married 2x before birth of children, in each marriaged both wives cheated with Men who would never marry,not even their baby mommas.its almost like the guy who says-I do! Is a considered weak by the wife because he gave in.The other man is more attactive to her because he’s hard to get. He’s laughing because he’s in your car,house,money,your girl’s ass and mouth. I will never be that weak man again.

  3. Essa says:

    I am loving this topic!!! I’ve dealing with this man for a while and although I know he cares for me, he does not want to put a title on what we have, he wants me to have his baby. He’s always asking me when am I ovulating, so he can impregnate me, but I’ve told him time and time again, I want a relationship and would want to be a wife. I don’t think I’d ever be able to accept splitting a child in 1/2, where he’d get them on certain holidays or I’d be alone on Christmas. I find the thought of this devastating!!! Whoever I have a child with…we will move as a unit, so if he’s going to be at his mothers house with our child for Thanksgiving so am I.

  4. Mark says:

    The only gender to blame for fatherless children is women. Men plant the seed, but only women have the option whether to abort the child, have the child, or have the child and surrender him or her to an adoption agency.

    When it comes to marriage, I blame our American culture for giving women Disney complexes. It’s not enough for a man to be employed; he must also be educated and well-compensated.

    Look at Hispanic male immigrants that live in America. I have seen so many of these men who work menial jobs that pay at, or slightly above minimum wage. Yet, these men are generally married to beautiful, Hispanic women who are more than willing to bear their children.

    Many foreign women are family oriented. American women are money oriented. Believe it or not, you can live and raise children in America on less than 30k a year.

    Another problem is that women generally refuse to date/marry men who have smaller incomes than their own. Women outnumber men on college campuses. What did you expect, ladies? It’s not a crime to marry down, financially and academically. Men do it all the time. It’s funny, women say they shouldn’t have to “settle” for a man who earns less, yet these same women have no problem dating a man who earns more. According to their own rules, that means the man has settled, and women have no problem with that. They just hate being on the wrong side of the deal. Can we spell hypocrisy? So you earn 75k and he earns 35k? So what? You can raise a family on that combined income with no problem. You can live a decent life on that income. What’s the issue? You would marry a man who earns more than you, but not less?

    We are finally witnessing the nasty truth about women. What feminists have always declared a social construct turns out to be biological after all; women want to be with a man who is stronger, be it income, status or what-have-you. All the feminism and equality in the world will not change that fact. All women have a myriad of great men from which to choose. When they start dating “down”, they will solve their dating woes. Until then, it’s not men, it’s you.

    • LMFAO says:

      Many foregin men are marriage oriented. Thats why they marry FIRST and then have children. Thats their culture. Unlike some men in this country that believe in making babies first and then thinking about shit after the fact. I love how people try to justify their bullshit by bring up other cultures. Hispanic male immigrants value marriage. Thats the difference between them and you.

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